Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Santa's dying words: "Take up the fight to take back Christmas"

The first real casualty in the War on Christmas is here. The Gothenburg Post sadly reports that Santa is dead by his own hand. Can’t we stop the madness?


There was a letter…
…from Santa himself. Too bad it was a suicide note. Poor Santa has given up and hanged himself in a tree outside of the high church of consumption– NK.

“I can’t live like this any longer. When I started giving out Christmas presents it was to help those who are worse off in society get a little extra. But greedy store owners took Christmas from me. They sold Santa’s workshop to China where the elves have to work for slave wages while they make billions themselves. The owner of H&M, Stefan Persson, for example, has 11 billion dollars and is one of the world’s 30 richest people. It’s people like him that benefit from today’s Christmas. Not Santa’s elves and the elves in China that make the presents, or you who put out the last $10 from your paycheck to pay for them. I don’t have the strength to continue the fight, but I hope that you reading this take up the fight to take back Christmas, to the happiness of all except those rich bastards.

According to what can ascertain, this isn’t the first time Santa has killed himself. As early as the 60’s during a few Christmases, he hanged himself outside of what was then Ferdinand Lundqvist.
“It’s probably the same person who pops up now and then,” explains Jan-Erik Nilsson, a decorator at NK. “Someone thinks it’s cool to demonstrate in this way.” Jan-Erik started as a decorator at NK in the 60s and has witnessed a few Santa hangings.
“Maybe they are upset that the decorations in Gothenburg’s downtown have become over commercialized,” he continues. “It’s a lot and it shows, which in itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

NK’s Head of Operations, Dag Agård can certify that Santa was still alive as of 2:00 am Wednesday. That was when he took a last look around the building before he went home. But at 9:30 this morning, the Department of Public Works pulled the red-clad body down from the tree.
“There were papers pasted on our façade and because they were connected to the Santa, we decided to take him down,” says Dag Agård.

“We have daycare children here at 8:00 in the morning who want to look at the Christmas displays. They feel that it’s a little macabre. There was a daycare class here when we took him down and they were wondering what had happened. They’re not more than six or seven years old. I don’t know if they made the connection between him hanging in the tree and him being dead, but I think it’s distasteful and macabre.”

What was on the papers?
“Well it was something about “I can’t take it anymore,” signed Santa.”

Adbusters, an organization that wants to take back the public space that has been filled with ads, is said to have been in contact with Santa just hours before the end.
“He felt that it had become too much,” explains “Elf”. “He had been out-competed by the sales frenzy and didn’t think it was right that poor people should feel forced to put out their last bits of money on Christmas presents that they probably don’t need.”

And the children?
“It’s very tragic, they are surely as upset as us. But hopefully they get why he did it. Then Santa’s death is not for nothing.”

Hanna Hellquist

1 comment:

Neil Shakespeare said...

Gosh, the malaise of my ancestors even extends to Santa. C'est tragique...

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